About Gratification

gratification

/ˌɡratɪfɪˈkeɪʃn/

noun: pleasure, especially when gained from the satisfaction of a desire.

We all know gratification – instant gratification usually - as having a bad reputation. It has led many to their downfall. People who cannot take financial or personal decisions keeping the big picture in mind. They want something, they go for it, whether they have means or not, whether it is good for their overall life or not. There are numerous case studies, support groups, and books on how to NOT look for instant gratification.

This blog post is about the other one – delayed gratification. One is considered prudent and responsible if they can practice this fine art of delayed gratification.

Can one practice delayed gratification too often and too well?

I think so. I will tell you how.

Scenario one: You get a new dress, but you don’t wear it right away or even at the next suitable occasion. You ‘save’ it for another time. What’s the rush!

Scenario two: You buy that favorite coffee, but then hoard it for special occasion instead of enjoying it for yourself. You delay your gratification for so long that sometimes the coffee goes bad before it is enjoyed.

You get the point? Mundane, everyday things, but even then we delay our wants too much. That business we wanted to start, and we have resources and plan and people now, but we still delay it. It is not decision paralysis or procrastination – because we do our 2nd best or 3rd best thing on the ‘want’ list very well. It is a bit of fear perhaps, but it is also delaying the feeling of satisfaction from doing what we had dreamt of doing. I feel this happens when we practice delayed gratification too well, even glorifying it in our minds too much.

Mindfulness will help, I believe. Delay the gratification if it will break your bank or destroy your relationships. But go for the gratification that is likely part of your soul path, something that will help you grow. Being mindful of our decisions and being aware of our emotions about them will bring the balance back into the gratification equation.

Do not let the perceived nobleness of denying or delaying the gratification stop you from going after your true life goals. Afterall, there is a tangible difference between buying a Lamborghini on an impulse and investing in that art studio that has been an urge that keeps coming back to you – no matter how many excuses you make or limitations you imagine.

ps. Pretty much every insightful blog is typically a message to the author, as they are usually the ones going through that challenge or dilemma. Enough said!