Band Aid approach to Relationship

Just as we do with first aid to a cut, sometimes its just too convenient to do the band-aid fixes to our relationships. The cut was hurting too much, so we put the band-aid on it. That’s prudent – because it will prevent dust from getting in and infecting the wound. It would create the barrier between pain and your senses. It will even start a bit of healing of that cut.

This approach may work with some relationships most the time OR with important relations some of the times. But it won’t work for all relationships, all the time. When it comes to people and emotions and love and trust, though, band-aid fixes are worth it only to a point. Moreover, used frequently, they may turn into a habit – and that’s when the ability is stunted to allow the pain to be felt and learning to take place. Its akin to instant gratification.

Tough situation = quick band-aid of some make believe, feel-good story = problem solved

Easy. Right?

But its only cosmetic problem solving – at the surface, at best. The more number of times you apply the band-aid to your relationship, the deeper the wound keep getting. Its not getting the air to breathe, room to heal, good energy to pass through. The relationships

should be respected. Every wound needs to be understood and healed individually. If we allow smaller wounds this care and attention, it would never fester into something larger, something earth shattering. The whole premise of band-aid was to prevent pain in that moment, but whats the point of that prevention if it all gets so severely infected that the affected body part is rendered useless.

That was a bit graphic, I agree. However, more often than not, people are into the habit of band-aid fixes. And then we wonder why relationships don’t last. Not many people take the pain of nurturing the hurt, addressing the issue head-on, standing their ground, and seeing it through with the other person. Is it an issue of time or intent, or perhaps both.

Love, forgiveness, trust, honesty, communication, understanding – take time and effort to apply, but they breed a long lasting foundation for a strong relationship. Just say those words a few times, feel them. Doesn’t it lighten you up right away? If feeling them only for a moment makes you feel light and peaceful… imagine how your day would go, if these were integral part of everything that you do, say, feel.

So, use the band-aid. Use it for acquaintances for cosmetic issues.

For people you truly love – your partner, your friends, your parents and kids – chuck that band-aid away. Listen to them if they are sharing. Try to understand what they are saying, feeling. What can you do to help or heal the issue? Maybe you just needed to listen. Maybe you had to help out in other way. Each wound would be different – but if you come from a place of love, you would know what treatment is needed. And in the process, you would be healed too.